


You're not alone

by ChocoNut



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Love Confessions, Post ADWD, Post-Canon, Romance, book!canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:55:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22319713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChocoNut/pseuds/ChocoNut
Summary: On the way to Lady Stoneheart, Brienne sits by the fire one night, guilt-ridden and troubled by her feelings for him. Jaime wants to know what bothers her.
Relationships: Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Comments: 16
Kudos: 90





	You're not alone

**Author's Note:**

> So I decided to try Book!Canon for the first time. A little trial attempt. I'm sure this scenario would've been done many times before, but here's my take on it, anyway :)  
> Thanks, as usual, for reading and let me know if you liked it!

“You look disturbed and unsettled, wench,” he observed, shuffling next to her, his keen eyes fixed on hers, studying and wordlessly interrogating her. “What’s wrong?”

Brienne shifted position to sit cross legged, one sweaty hand caressing the hilt of her sword that lay next to her and the other resting on the ground, barely a foot away from his. She didn’t look at him. She couldn’t dare answer him for fear of blurting out the truth. Her mind was a buzzing mess of thoughts, a torrid mesh of emotions. Ever since they'd begun their journey, she had been engulfed by a sense of unpreparedness to cope with his presence and his company. To add to that, was a womanly jittery feeling - not unlike something the maidens she’d grown up with had described whenever they’d run into the men of their fantasies.

But above everything else was the nagging feeling that refused to leave her be. She let herself succumb to a heavy guilt-ridden sigh. After what she was about to do, would she be able to carry on with the rest of her life as if _it_ had never happened? Even if she were to get out of this alive, would her conscience ever forgive her for betraying the man she lov--

A shiver ran down her spine and the hair on the back of her neck stood on end, her toes and fingertips tingling at the recurring wave of these familiar feelings. She dared not finish that sentence in her head, for it would be a definite conclusion if she did. Countless times, such thoughts had visited her head, confusing her, agitating her, tormenting her… and countless times, she’d brushed them aside, her aim, her vow, her duty, the only thing left in her life, her only purpose.

Love wasn’t something she could afford to have; not even if it knocked on the door of her heart. And unfortunately, or mayhaps, fortunately, this was something she could safely assume would never see the light of the day, for a man like Jaime would _never_ open the door of his heart for an ugly wench like her.

“Brienne,” he called again, his dulcet tone interrupting her troubling thoughts. 

He dragged himself towards her, so close, that his sleeve brushed against hers, his thigh almost touching hers. For a second, she thought her heart had forgotten to beat. Such was the power the man held on her; on her body and mind, on every nerve ending she possessed, on every vein that ran through her entire being.

“You've gone all pale, like you're unwell,” he went on with the same tenderness, this time, laying a comforting hand on hers. “Tell me, how can I alleviate your suffering--”

Alarmed and breathless, she jerked her hand away, stunned by his unexpected gesture. As if leading him to his death wasn’t enough! Now she had this--his kindness, gentle words and concern to deal with, a challenge, she hadn’t known, would latch itself on to her as an unexpected free gift when she had been blackmailed into signing his death sentence.

Jaime shrank back at once. “I--Apologies, my lady,” he mumbled, his voice hollow and stung by the way she’d shunned him. “Forgive me if I’ve been intruding, I’ll just--”

“Stop it,” she cried, finally plucking up the courage to look him in the eye.

“Have I upset you, Brienne?” Green eyes shone in the light of the fire, with anxiety, hurt and disappointment. If this was a cause for his disappointment, what reaction would she have to face the day he found out she’d betrayed him, his faith in her, his trust in her cause? She dared not imagine his crushed face, the shadow of pain in his eyes.

She tried to wage a war against the surge of emotions within her, to hide from him, her agony, but failed miserably when her voice cracked as she said, “I’m not used to you being nice to me, so stop pretending and--”

“I know I’m not the nicest company you can have,” he said, the gentle hint of reassurance back in his voice. “But I swear I speak no lie when I say I’m not pretending, my lady.” He budged closer again, his eyes alive in the glow of the dancing flames. “Something in your eyes tells me you trust me, but if I’m wrong--”

“I _do_ ,” she nearly sobbed, unable to think of anyone else she could put her faith in, unable to withstand the turmoil that had been eating her alive from the moment Lady Catelyn, or whatever she had now become, had sent her to do. “I trust _you_ , Jaime, more than anyone else.”

“Let go of your reservations then,” he returned to coaxing her again, his hand back on hers, his eyes bearing a soft hue of compassion she’d never seen before. “We’ve been through thick and thin together, far worse than this. Allow me to share your woes, my lady. Allow me to--”

She let out a dry laugh. “You wouldn’t be so kind to me if you knew what you were heading towards. It’s not the Hound we’re going after, but--”

“I know.”

Brienne felt the blood drain off her body. Shocked, she scanned the depths of his eyes, but to her surprise, found no resentment nor any other trace of negativity in them. On the contrary, he graced her with a smile. Not the mocking smirk he usually reserved for her, but a genuine sign of kinship. “I am well aware of what I’m getting into, wench.”

When she had regained the use of her tongue, she demanded, “What, in the seven hells, do you mean?”

He squeezed her hand. “Lady Stoneheart,” he revealed, the name off his lips striking her like a bolt of lightning. She opened her mouth to question him, but he went on, “You talk in your sleep, Brienne. You blurted it all last night.”

She shut her mouth, deflated and abashed. She had no words, nothing that could effectively express her distress. But if he already knew, why was he so kind and--

“You’ve known all day,” she confronted, appalled that he’d kept her accidental revelation to himself, “yet you--”

“--made no attempt to stop you?” He leaned closer and she could feel his burning breath on her face, spreading all over her skin, easing up her nostrils. “You did it to save your squire. A mark of a true knight, I’d say.” 

“But… but…” Her confused brain still failed to come to terms with whatever was happening, their conversation, the unnatural calm in Jaime’s demeanour despite stumbling upon the truth, her own tangled feelings. “You knew all along but you never said a word,” she complained.

He brought his hand to her mangled cheek and while she was sure she was blushing like a maiden on her wedding night, she tried not to tremble like a leaf. “I decided to wait for you to tell me in your own time,” he whispered, his thumb trailing along her wound, painting vivid pictures in her head, driving her thoughts astray.

“What if I had never told you?” she breathed, her pulse quickening with every stroke his finger made, every inch it travelled along her skin. “What if I had continued to betray you?” 

He edged his face close to hers. “You wouldn’t have,” he said, confidence oozing out of every word. “You couldn't have. Sooner or later you would’ve confessed.”

She tried not to get diverted by his mouth which was mere inches away from hers. “H--how do you know?”

“ _Not Jaime_ , you kept crying. _Spare him, he had no hand in it_.” His eyes were glittering emeralds, full of something she couldn’t put her finger on. “You would’ve sought my assistance, maybe, but you’re too noble to raze my trust to the ground.” He let his thumb drop to the corner of her lips. “You’re not alone, my lady. We’ll face it. Her and whatever other foe we might encounter.” Tracing the outline of her mouth, he added, “ _Together_.”

Brienne searched his face. Questions, she had, more than she could ask him in a night. “You’re ready to willingly ride to your death. Why?” This, she wanted to know, else she wouldn't be able to sleep nor gain a single moment of peace.

His eyes burning into hers, he whispered, “The things I do for love.”

Then he kissed her full on the mouth, deeply, with heat and desire she'd never thought she could evoke in any man.

When she kissed him back, her challenges seemed a lot less insurmountable, and life, something she wanted to look forward to for the first time in years.

**Author's Note:**

> Up in the next few days: The last chapter of "I don't want to go" and after that, an update for "A twist of fate"


End file.
